Showing posts with label acocuntability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acocuntability. Show all posts

1.19.2019

19 January

ME?Toxic?

When I'm recording my weekly radio show (insert SHAMELESS plug here: It goes by the same name as this blog, Faithandfashion360 Live on WFNKRadio.com, Sundays from 7pm-9pm. Here's the link.), I usually peruse the social media airwaves and timelines for the things people are talking about, the things they may divided on, as well as the things that just need some JESUS. My sites of choice are typically fashion forward, millenial friendly, etc.

I was scrolling down Instagram the other day and I found a post on one of my sites of choice (one that sometimes I'm almost ashamed to say), and I saw a post that had me pleasantly surprised. TheShadeRoom, the place you love to hate, for its constant celeb post and infinite shade, posted a thought provoking question that forced me into a few minutes of self-awareness. It was so much so that here I am, writing to you about it, and eventually asking you to think about as well;

What is a toxic trait that you possess and would like to work on getting rid of in 2019??


 Whoa.
1st of all, I felt personally attacked. They asked assuming that I would even have any! *insert fake disgust*

This question spoke to me in a number of ways and there was a wave of emotions and feelings that swept over me as I thought about an answer.

The fact of the matter is, we all have some things that aren't so great about us. We all have traits that have caused an argument. Things about us that people rightfully don't like. Parts of ourselves that, if we're honest, can stand to hit the trash. It was difficult for me to say out loud, but once I got real with myself, I could name a few.

Moment of transparency: I have a spending problem. I mean a forgo-my-car-note kind of problem. It's something I've realized over the years, especially as I've grown my blogging and fashion brand. There were times where I would even make justifications and excuses about why spending money on the latest shoes were necessary.

"My followers need these looks."
"I have a 10 day grace period."
"How can I grow my brand if I don't invest?"
We've gotten very used to justifying our nonsense in this day and age. The world tells us that we are a work in progress, and arms us with resources to halfway fix ourselves for their monetary gain.

We have become so very good at justifying our bad behavior, even our sinful behavior. In reality, we can justify just about anything in our lives to help relieve the pressure of the Holy Spirit bringing things to light for us to deal with them before Him in humility and self-sacrifice.


The problem with this behavior is, we never quite get around to the issue because we've adopted this really nice pair of rose-colored glasses (or shoes) that are blocking us from seeing our wrongdoing, and eventually getting down to the good things we can be. By not acknowledging that there's a problem...it's almost like it isn't happening?

 I'll share a secret with you: God loves imperfect people.


That's right I said it. He loves all of your binge-spending, binge-eating, eye-rolling, nay-saying, negative speaking ways. We all make mistakes. We will unfortunately (and fortunately depending on how you see i) continue to do so. But because Jesus died and rose from the grave, every mistake we will make or ever make has been paid in full. Don't allow ego and pride keep you from receiving God's love any longer. Don't allow blinders to keep you from acknowledging your sin and moving forward  with God and receive His love and mercy.

I task you today to think about something you could do differently. I then task you to consistently pray and ask God to remove that from every part of yourself. Then, I want you to forgive yourself and do better. Who knows what's on the other side of your awareness? Salvation?Success? 

Sounds like a win  to me.

Faithfully,
Brieana



Scriptures of Reference
1 Peter 1:13-16
John 3:16
Romans 5:8
Hebrews 10:24-25
Romans 14:10-19
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5.31.2018

31 May

Distractions: When the Only Light Left is God's

DISCLAIMER: I wrote this post in minimal lighting and a lack of electricity.Please excuse any typos in advance. The struggle was real, but needed to be told. 

I've been a resident of the Poconos, Pennsylvania for the past 10 years. I was uprooted from my quaint urban city of Paterson New Jersey at the tender age of 16 to be acquainted with bears, deer, and lots and lots of trees. Those trees became quite a problem two weeks ago, when rural Northeast PA was hit with a tornado of sorts that snatched all power and electricity from my home and power outlets for a grueling 4 days. Though at first I started to create a laundry list of things I wouldn't be able to get done, those four days turned into an enlightening experience, and showed me a lot about removing distractions, intentionally or forcibly.

Distractions are EVERYWHERE. Those subtle time wasters can be the difference between 10 minutes and an hour of meme browsing.


We laugh and joke about it, but getting too distracted can really derail our visions, dreams, and the path that God has set out for us. I had a lot of time to think about this while I was unplugged from civilization. Talk about the light through the darkness!

 Distraction from God is extremely dangerous. As believers we believe that God is the captain of our ship. When you start losing sight of your captain, you start trying to steer your own ship. Not only does this lead to going the wrong way, but it can lead you in the direction of trials, sin, missed opportunities, and missed blessings.

 So what are some things that can distract us from what's REALLY important? 

Social Media

It may be more fitting to change this to all media! This is a personal struggle for me. How many times do we find ourselves rolling over at 7am, entranced by how many likes our last post got, our the hottest tea for the day? I'm ashamed to say I've done this so many times that I'm kicking myself around 2pm when my day is going ALL THE WAY to the left and I realize I forgot a little something. The media is so dangerous because it is so easy to get consumed in. Everywhere we turn, some sort of media is right in our face. And the worst part; it’s littered with filth. Almost every commercial on TV, and every advertisement on the Internet is trying to convince us that we are missing something, and they are the ones that can fill the need. Our young girls and women are bombard by the media with how they should look, feel, and act…movies, music, TV shows…they all are horrible influences on us because they can subliminally tell us how to live, what's right and wrong, etc. Unplugging from those influences for a few days gave me such a sense of relief and peace, I was almost hesitant to rejoin the social word and images when the light was shining again.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.       -Romans 12:2

Routine

This is a common thing I allow myself to get distracted by all the time. The most important thing is that spending time with God should be in your routine! Far too often do we just squeeze God in when we have down time. Its so easy to get caught up in all the things we have to do, like work, eat, sleep, etc. I often find sleep getting in the way! I mean, if I didn’t spend that extra hour sleeping in, I would have a whole hour with nothing to do but seek God! But what I've learned along the way is that when I allow Him to be at the beginning (and End) of my day, it leaves very little room for error and the disasters that are possible to go wrong. 

 Being "too busy"

I think this could be another post all on its own, but too many times, we're guilty of using the "'B" word in concerns to our daily lives and how much we can (or can't) get done. Its almost like there's this secret society we all hope to join by proclaiming how busy we are at all times. I, for one, don't think, it's anything to brag about. We are overworked, overstressed, and spiritually undernourished. Our culture promotes “bigger and better” and subtly challenges us to keep up. Whew! Who made these rules anyway? Satan loves to keep us running in circles trying to beat the clock. If he can distract us, he can minimize our usefulness to the Kingdom of God. Satan may be the Prince of Darkness, but he is also the Duke of Distraction. As Christ representers, we have to be careful not to get caught up in the rat race that has become so popular in the 21st century. The Bible actually praise a peaceful and easygoing lifestyle, especially in Mark 6:31


I'll be the first to admit that it can be a struggle not to be distracted. I've jokingly said to people that I'm not sure how I've earned so many degrees because I have a very small attention span. But its in that moment of self awareness that I'm able to focus even more on the things that should keep my attention; God being the first. If we are aware of what, who, and when can keep us from a closer walk with God, we're even closer to being a force of focus.

1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings. But God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. Instead, along with the temptation he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to endure it.

Faithfully,
Brieana
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12.18.2017

18 December

Preparation, Perseverance, and God's Plan: When Your Plan Doesn't Cut It

peter pan dog GIF

Here's a fun fact about me: I am a Type-A person. Type A and Type B personality theory describes two contrasting personality types. In this theory, personalities that are more competitive, highly organized, ambitious, impatient, highly aware of time management and/or aggressive are labeled Type A, while more relaxed personalities are labeled Type B.

Being so hyper organized and detail oriented has always been a blessing for me. It's just the way my brain operates. I can tell you how long it going to take me to get to the gas station and hit the ATM (barring a line), down to the very minute. Running late gives me anxiety. And being on time for things? If you tell me 4pm, I will religiously be there by 3:40pm, trying to find out what I missed. I can't help it. I've always been this way. And its worked for me.

For the most part.

In the past few years, my life has taken a few turns for the better---a thriving blog, modeling gigs and shows left and right, sponsorships, collaborations, international flights, the list goes on. Saying that I was prepared for this elevation in my life would be a lie. I didn't know that I was going to be here.

We all have plans for ourselves. This could be a plan for the day, week, month, or even the next year. We have plans for our fitness, as well as plans for eating right and drinking more water. We have plans on finding our Boaz and finding family, or even a plan to cut off relationships (romantic or platonic) altogether.

Sometimes these plans are written down.
Sometimes they're just in our head, without any concrete bullet points or planners to accompany them.
We all do it. Whether its the Type-A or Type-B way.

One thing I've learned about "planning" as a child of God is that my planning holds the assumption that I'm in control. It holds the assumption that my successful planning puts me as the front runner of accolades or praise for getting it right. Do you remember that saying from Colonel John "Hannibal" Smith of the A-Team? "I love it when a good plan comes together." We automatically feel these overwhelming sense of pride when we painstakingly plan something and it...works out?!

The adrenaline rush of making it happen.
The relief in it being over.
The determination as we play with the thought of doing it again.

On the flip side of that is the fear, anger, and disappointment we feel when things just don't work out.

THAT is where I learned I am just a passenger in the grand scheme of things. A few of my brothers and sisters in the Bible could definitely empathize with these feelings as well.You guys know I'm into annotated versions of Bible stories, so look for the corresponding Bible books and scriptures to follow.

Joseph-Sold by His Brothers into Slavery (Genesis 37)

God really messed up Joseph’s life plan. His brothers threw him into a dry well, then sold him into slavery. The wife of his Egyptian master tried to seduce him. When he refused her advances, she turned him over to the Egyptian cops, who then tossed him in prison. He spent years in prison, waiting to be released. I don’t imagine that Joseph included prison time in his life plan. Finally, after many years of painful waiting, God exalted him to the second in command in all of Egypt.
Abraham and Sarah
God really messed up Abraham and Sarah’s life plan. He allowed Sarah to be infertile and barren for years. He took them out of their homeland, away from their family and friends. Finally, after the couple waited earnestly for many years, God promised them a son. Then God made them wait some more. Finally, their hopes and dreams were realized when their son Isaac was born. Then God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Talk about a wrench in the life plan. 
After God rescued Isaac, and all was said and done, God made the following astonishing declaration to Abraham:
“By myself I have sworn, declares the Lord, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.” (Genesis 22:16–18)

The "monkey wrench" list could go on. These were firm believers in the Lord. People who trusted His will and way at every step. So as I increase my prayer life and my reading I just ask God to give me the spirit of trust. To help me to let go of my need to control variables around me. Because...sometimes you can do all you can in the flesh, and He has a better plan for you in the Spirit.

My prayer today:
Father God, I thank you for the blessings you have bestowed on me thus far. I thank you for your never ending  love and adoration for me, that you have loved me so deeply to provide me with all of the things my heart never knew I wanted. I beg your forgiveness for all of the times I tried to snatch the driver's wheel out of your hands, as you rode this unsafe vehicle (my plans) into safer terrain (your plans). I ask that you forgive me when I forget what your word states in Ephesians 3:20

                            "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly
abundantly above all that we
ask or think,
according to the power that works in us,"

I thank you God for being the first and final say in every step of my life. And I thank you for being a better planner than I could ever be. 

Faithfully,
Brieana
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9.03.2017

03 September

OOTD: Girl On Fire

"Life starts all over again when the air is crisp..."

As the leaves start to change, I knew what it was time to do. Break out the reds, oranges, sweaters, and heavier coats. And although I'm not quite ready to use them, that doesn't mean I can't get you guys ready in some kind of way!

My prequel to the fall starts off with this convertible wrap dress I got from my sister in fashion over at Sassie Girl Fashion. I literally felt like a girl on fire! Just LOOK at all of those vibrant colors! I felt like a mix between Carmen in Hip-Hopera and Selena, ready to bust a reggaeton hit or two. As you can see it hugs ALL the right places *a plus girl's favorite thing), and the fabric is still breezy enough if the sun happens to come out (spoiler alert: no sun this day.)

Another bucket list item for a self-proclaimed fashionista? Being able to re-purpose an old outfit. This dress makes that super easy! Although I went with the run of the mill wrap, this dress can be work over 25 different ways! One sleeve, halter, backwards, without sleeves...the possibilities are amazing! It also gives lots of stretch, so it doesn't hug too tight.




This convertible dress is available in a number of prints, and can fit up to a size 16. Head over to Sassiegirlfashion.com for a look at this versatile number, as well as her other awesome pieces for the fall. Happy hunting!


Faithfully,
Brieana
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7.13.2016

13 July

I Was Angry Too...

It was about 2:30AM when I stumbled upon the 2nd most disturbing video I had ever seen. It was only 2 days after the murder of Alton Sterling, and I had done my best to avoid the gruesome video at all costs. I got an idea of the nature of it from my FB and Instagram friends and I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach it. But at 2:30 in the morning,my inhibitions weren't as alert to be able to look away from the bloodied body of Philando Castile,as a visibly shaken cop (or from what I could see, gun),screamed out from what Philando's girlfriend, Diamond Reynolds described as 4 rounds to the chest for complying with orders.

I wanted to look away. So badly. But I couldn't.

So what ensued was another 20 minutes of looking through the hashtag #PhilandoCastile, as my eyes looked through news snippets, more pleasant pictures of Philando,and a video that originally came from Facebook of Diamond Reynolds and who I later found out to be a 4 year old child, in the aftermath of their loved one's shooting by a Minnesota police sergeant.
I couldn't believe it. And what I did next wasn't something familiar to me in the wake of killings of Black men by police officers.

I cried.

For hours. I cried and I screamed as the visions of these two men swirled around in my head as I put the faces of my boyfriend, brother, and best friends on the bodies of other Black citizens whose lives were gone so soon.

For a busted tail light.
For selling CD's with permission.
For Skittles and an Arizona Iced tea.
For [insert justification here].

I mourned the death of these two strangers so violently at 2:30 in the morning that when the well of tears had run dry...the only feeling I had left was anger.

Another black man. Another hashtag.
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

That seething and relentless anger didn't really allow me to function for the rest of the day. I went to work with a headache. I cried some more. And I looked at all of the Caucasian people at my job like they held those guns themselves. I became cynical. I locked myself in my office. I didn't care who noticed.

But then something happened...
My office manager came into my office after a Facebook post that called for no debates, just empathy. She came into my office and said "I just watched the video of that man and I am so pissed off. These cops are getting out of control."
I looked at her for a quick second. And beneath the tears I began to cry again,I saw a few of her tears. It was then that I realized...I wasn't alone.
Now when I say I wasn't alone, I mean it in more of an ally sense. The notion that a white woman could empathize with how I felt definitely wasn't a far-fetched notion, but at that time, in that mindset, it was what I needed. Because after seeing one of my black brothers killed and the idea of the same happening to the other, the only person who could understand my pain would be someone Black, right?

Wrong.

The next few days went by quickly as I wrapped my brain around the fact that others besides African-Americans could be upset and enraged about what they've seen on TV,Facebook,Twitter,etc. What I realized in those few days though, was that my mind went to a place where many of my comrades minds still are.

Anger.
Rage.
Blaming.

Those WELL warranted feelings took me past thinking clearly. I hated cops. I hated the system that bred them. And I was one of those Facebook users silently reading through the comments of people who supported them and hating them too.

My snap back into reality was on July 9th, when a protest claimed the lives of 5 Dallas, Texas police officers. With all of my burning rage, I wanted to be excited that they "got what they deserved." Just typing that today makes me shudder with fear that even for a second, I felt victory over another's death. That was when it hit me.

It's ALL wrong.

Now stay with me. I am an avid Black Lives Matter supporter. It is evident that there is a systematic misfire when officers of the law are dealing with Black men versus White men. I've seen it. I've heard it. My loved ones have been prey to it. The strength of the Black man may likely be the most jarring existence to institutions.

But all cops are not bad. Most cops are not bad. There is an enormous lack of accountability and lack of responsibility on these particular police departments that requires a systemic change. But the change does not come by being anti-cop. The change does not come by being anti-black. The change comes by being pro-justice-accountability, and pro-life. PERIOD.

There's a call to action for us as a nation to account for everyone's life. Because if you celebrated the death of the cops, while morning the lives of your brothers, you’re a part of the problem.

Our nation is in a state of unrest. I call out to all of you to find out how to be a part of the solution. Take that anger and fear and do your due diligence to find out what we can do next. As Blacks. As cops. As human beings. .Do not spread more propaganda of hate. And do not cast down your brother who disagrees with you. Ignorance only breeds more ignorance.  Do not succumb to your anger. Re-purpose it instead. Be educated. Be safe. Be knowledgeable.


"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only love can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.
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